You might be sitting there looking at your pimple(s) thinking, “How will I ever find love with what’s going on on my face right now…?” And you may be right!
If you’re not happy with the way you look, you’re not happy with the way you ARE.
If you’re not happy with the way you are, then how can anybody else be happy WITH you?
I know right? That was a pretty massive truth bomb I just dropped on you, only so that you can pull the plug on your pity party and pop the pimple – for good.
Your pimples are here to teach you a few things about yourself:
1- How to take better care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
2- How to love yourself all the time no matter what; unconditionally.
3- How to be tough and resilient and fearless, and face anything.
4- How to embrace your flaws and appreciate the good qualities you possess.
5- How to turn negatives into positives.
6- How to be more compassionate.
7- How to take charge and change your life.
8- How to not sweat the small stuff.
9- How to be happy no matter the circumstances.
Now you always have the option of resisting the good that can come out of having pimples, but keep in mind that what you resists, totally PERSISTS.
The sooner you can stop resisting, the sooner you can get over your pimples.
So please accept these 9 things – legitimately. You can’t pretend that you love yourself, you actually have to FEEL it with every fiber (or pimple) of your being.
Not surprisingly, the 9 lessons from above actually help you become an amazing partner; or a dream girl for your dream man.
Don’t even begin worrying about men and their presence in your life before you’ve actually started taking care and loving yourself genuinely and unconditionally.
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Only after you’ve accepted yourself with utmost PURE love can you get the man of your dreams. And you know how it’s going to happen?
It’s going to come seemingly out of nowhere, a delightful surprise from the universe herself! It’s going to be smooth and easy, you will not have to settle for his lesser qualities, or bend on your deal breakers. You will not feel like you want to change him, you will not feel like you are compromising your beliefs for him, and you will not feel like you have to talk yourself INTO staying with him.
Aren’t you tired of mediocre relationships by now?
Don’t you want a truly epic, joyful, unconditional LOVE?
Again, we can’t put the cart in front of the horse. You gotta love yourself first. You read it once, and you’ll read it again.
You gotta love yourself first.
No man is going to complete you. No man is going to fix all your problems and take all your worries away. A man is not a solution. Needing a man will not get you the ultimate man.
On the contrary, being independent, having a life of your own, having interests, pursuing goals and dreams is what makes you irresistible, pimples be damned.
Joy is the secret sauce. When you are enjoying your life, you become a magnet for the extraordinary (including the man of your dreams).
Have I found my dream man yet?
Truthfully, I’ve been single for the last 4 years. I’ve been dating, but I haven’t been in a serious relationship for FOUR whole years, and they’ve been the best years of my life. How is this possible?
I learned to connect with myself, with my desires and preferences, with my dreams, with my imagination, and with my joy. My life became about ME, and not about somebody fulfilling me.
There was a time when if a man called me, I would drop everything that I was doing and talk with him. If he wanted to see me, I’d drop everything that I was doing and go be with him. I’d make room for him in my life, while edging myself out.
Relationships require balance, and us women just love to lose ourselves in them. We literally LOSE ourselves, forget who we are, what we stand for to cater to someone else’s desires.
I’m the first to admit that I used to do it, I used to be a pro at edging myself out. And it sucked!
To prove to you how boy-crazy I was: I once moved to a developing country to be with a guy!
It was my first ever love, and I picked up and changed my life for him, not knowing how it would end. When we broke up he told me that we just loved each other too much, when the truth was I didn’t love myself enough.
Why give up or change something wonderful in yourself or about your life to suit somebody else? I exchanged Canada (a land of opportunity) for Ukraine (a land of extreme corruption) for a MAN… Actually, a boy. We were young.
I have the excuse of us being young, but I know plenty of women (not girls) who do this sort of thing. It’s all too common, and I want it to stop.
If the context doesn’t suit you, you don’t have to accept it, you can move on!
Why can’t we just move on?
Because, when you’re unhappy with yourself, when you don’t appreciate your own magnificence, you let others overpower you. Their needs outweigh yours when you’re unclear about your own needs in the first place.
A guy literally just called me as I was writing this, and I told him that I’d call him back later. That felt fucking good – I took control of my time, and put MY priorities first. You can practice doing this, you can practice saying NO when you put yourself first, because it actually feels amazing.
A younger Olena would have let this article wait only to chat about HIS day. I would have squandered my inspiration and flow state for a mere conversation. Men used to be the main thing I was passionate about…
Luckily a lightbulb went off in my head (after reading a ton of books, and exploring the subject).
The world can wait. Your dream man can wait. But for the love of Oprah, don’t let your dreams wait.
Why do we spend so much time thinking about men instead of making shiz happen???
Don’t let him meet you when you don’t love yourself fully yet because you’ll only lose him.
“I want a woman who hates herself,” said no man you’d ever want to date.
“I want a woman who doesn’t care about herself,” said no self-respecting man.
“I want a girl who makes ME her whole world,” said no man EVER.
Paaaleeeezz, girl! If you make a man your world, he’ll grow bored of you in days if not hours. And then what? Who are you then? What are you left with? Just magnificent you.
Turn the love switch ON – inside.
I don’t mean don’t leave the house until your pimples have cured either! I mean BE your awesome self, embrace it, and believe in your awesomeness.
Work on your relationship with YOURSELF first, and all the other good stuff will just fall into place. You won’t have to fight for it, or against it, it will just happen.
What are your dreams? Goals? What inspires you? What are your boundaries? How high are your standards? What do you WANT? Who do you want to be?
If your concern is pimples, then we can work on it. Pimples are a signal that you’re doing something wrong, and your body doesn’t like it. It’s a matter of changing a few things and having the patience to see it through WHILE loving yourself at every stage of the process.
Dating with pimples is another article for another day. 🙂
If you haven’t already, go through my 28 Days of Clear Skin video series by signing up here where I share my best hacks for clear skin. But read this article again so you understand that you are more than your pimples, you are more than your career, and you are more than a relationship (or lack thereof).
YOU ARE A LOT and you are ENOUGH.
Pimples don’t define you and a relationship can’t define you.
You define you.
Passion and Love,
PS. I wrote this article while I was super single — mostly for myself. I didn’t post it because I felt I had other more important messages to share with you. But this article was necessary for me to write, it empowered me and helped me embody this message of self-love, confidence, and joy without needing any outward validation or reason to feel good.
I really worked on myself, enjoyed myself, and loved myself…and then I literally attracted the man of my dreams! He’s here in my life right NOW.
It came seemingly out of nowhere, a delightful surprise from the universe herself! It was smooth and easy, I don’t have to settle for his lesser qualities, or bend on my deal breakers. I don’t feel like I want to change him, I don’t feel like I’m compromising my beliefs for him, and I don’t feel like I have to talk myself INTO staying with him.
It’s exactly as I wrote it would be — and it’s beautiful.