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I Went Crazy And Destroyed My Face

olena beley, jojoba oil, acne, pimples, adult acne
olena loves, adult acne

14 years of Acne, though on and off, really begins to wear on you…

I try to be patient, hopeful, and optimistic – I’ve given up some, nay, most of the yummiest, most-loved foods in my life. No more milk, no cheese, no coffee, no bread, no pasta, no cookies…

It was good for a while! My face goes through phases of ‘really clear’ to ‘somewhat less clear’. I can’t say that the acne of my past has ever come back.

I quit Benzoyl Peroxide because I hoped I was healthy enough to venture out without it. I hoped that by now my body is healthy so my face should be healthy. I decided I no longer have acne, so what’s the point of using a harsh drying chemical on my normal skin?

I decided to try Jojoba Oil because I wanted to have a low-maintenance skin care routine that’s as natural as possible…

But it turns out I might have bought the wrong kind of Jojoba Oil…I should have researched the topic ad nauseam the way I normally do, but I just wanted it to work. I thought buying a cheap Jojoba Oil from Whole Foods would mean that it’s a quality oil.

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It’s only been 12 days on Desert Essence Jojoba Oil, but I already feel like quitting.

This reminds me of the first time I tried Jojoba Oil. It was the same brand, but I was using it wrong. Doesn’t matter, it still destroyed my skin. I think I’m going through some Jojoba-related PTSD or something…

I’m feeling discouraged today. I’ve been disciplined for so long, and I exercise so much will power daily, that I’m just tired of it all…

Last night, as I was washing my face with honey after removing my makeup…I felt these tiny clogged pores under my fingertips, and I suddenly hated them like never before.

They started after I started using Jojoba Oil, and I knew it could be part of the so-called ‘purge’ but I was fed up.

They were unnoticeable to anybody but me, but I noticed them! Feeling the bumps filled me with sadness and anger.

Feeling the bumps filled me with sadness and anger.

What should have been 3 minutes of face washing, turned into a 15-minute skin torture session where I basically poked holes in my forehead and cheeks with a metal blackhead extractor.

I didn’t enjoy watching the solid sebum plugs come out of my pores, and I certainly didn’t enjoy the slight pain. I didn’t enjoy the look of my skin after I was done. It was red and angry. I was filled with regret. I fell off the skin-touching wagon…hard.

Now I was filled with regret. I fell off the skin-touching wagon…hard. I went into the bathroom with a nice enough face and left with a destroyed face – little dots of blood littered my forehead, replacing the sebum plugs.

Forehead March 22
Forehead March 22, 2016
April 13 forehead
Forehead April 14, 2016

I applied a honey mask for two hours hoping that the honey would help disinfect the damage done.

It didn’t make me feel any better.

For the first time after starting the 30-day Jojoba experiment, I woke up not wanting to look in the mirror. I was no longer excited about my skin.

But I said I would do this experiment for 30 days, and even though I don’t want to keep using it, I will. I will give this Desert Essence Jojoba a real try before coming to any conclusions. I said a month, so a month it will be.

I’ve been told to just battle through the purge and keep going, but it’s mentally draining – especially if there’s a chance that I got a crappy Jojoba Oil.

I’ve stressed before the importance of reading labels, but I didn’t this time. It turns out 100% Pure just isn’t enough anymore. The really good Jojoba has to be ‘Organic’ and ‘Cold-pressed’ too.

I found myself less prone to smilestoday, because this skin thing has gotten to me. It’s upset me.

I wanted a simple product, but it turns out that there’s no such thing. Even Jojoba Oil requires research, and your local Whole Foods or health food store might just carry the basic, crappy Jojoba instead of the baller Jojoba.

I have to rethink everything.

Below is my forehead today. I took pictures in daylight and indoor light to give you a better idea of how bumpy things have gotten.

April 15 Daylight
April 15, Daylight
April 15 Indoor Light
April 15, Indoor Light

So far, I don’t recommend Desert Essence Jojoba Oil. Please don’t buy it even though it’s cheaper than the other Jojoba Oil brands.

Let me finish this experiment, so that you don’t have to go through these ups and downs that I’m experiencing right now, before even thinking of trying Jojoba Oil.

Hopefully there’s a miracle at the end of this…Or an Organic Cold-Pressed Jojoba Oil?

Stay tuned…

With Love,


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  • UGH!!! Been there! I learned that lesson the hard way too. Now I use 100% pure and organic Argan oil on my face by a brand called Amson Naturals and it is AWESOME. I highly recommend them. I hope you stick to it and just try using another brand that is organic.... you're almost there sweetheart! I went through something similar. I stopped taking birth control for the first time in wayyyy too long (16 years-ish) and the first month was ok, then the second month... HAVOC, acne on my back with breakouts on my chest and face. HORRIBLE. I was sooo tempted to hop back on the birth control wagon and I pressed on. It gets a lot worse before it gets better... but you have the strength to continue on! <3
    • Aw thanks so much for your support Sally, you're such a sweetheart! I'm going to look into Argan oil as well! Only ORGANIC - learned my lesson the hard way TWICE :) xoxoxo

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